Monday, July 19, 2010

still here

It's amazing what you realize you can live without, what you can pare down in your life. There are a few things I found I absolutely cannot live without.

1. Art. There is no way I could ever quit making art. I could be left with nothing but a pen and an old shabby notebook and still attempt at making something beautiful.

2. Food. Yes, and I do list this second.

3. Books. It's a good thing that most books are passed around freely and willing to be shared.

4. My friends and family. Last but not least, they are my heart and soul. I would be lost without them.

I have learned that the little money I do have should go to those things that are not necessary for me to live but rather to mobilize myself (gas in the car) or get food when it is unavailable to me. In the last few months of my life, I have been living by a very spare amount of money and it's nearly amazing what you learn about yourself when you are poor. As miserable as some moments have been this summer, I would not trade the knowledge gained about myself and the world around me for anything.

Now is the time that I stop digging the hole and start to pull myself out. I have come to terms that it will not be easy and I will still have to live sparingly in order to do it but I am fully prepared to accept this in order to achieve my dreams. I think before this summer that I would not have gained the determination that I have now. I am thankful for all the blessings my life has given me although the road to this appreciation was wrought with pain and difficulty. I am still here. I am still alive. I am still totally in love with my life.